When a couple decides to divorce, sometimes one spouse moving out right away is not an option, for financial reasons, or to wait until the marital house sells. Though this living arrangement certainly would not work in all relationships, it can if the terms of the divorce are amicable enough to last another few months under the same roof.If you are considering living with your soon-to-be ex-spouse during a divorce, here are a few ground rules for the potentially uncomfortable situation.
Talk About Your Budget
Since financial disagreements are one of the main reasons that people split up, be sure to handle this situation cautiously. Sit down with your ex to determine the financial obligations that you share. If both of you work and earn similar incomes, then consider dividing the financial burden equally. However, if one of you earns significantly more than the other one does, then you’ll need to negotiate. While preparing for divorce, create a manageable budget for the time that you’ll remain in the same residence.
Share Responsibilities Amicably
Once you and spouse have decided to dissolve your relationship, be sure to share household responsibilities while you are living in the same home. Allocate the chores fairly and plan a time to do them. Decide where each of you will sleep, and be considerate of each others’ personal space. In fact, try to think of your ex as a roommate. For instance, wash the dishes that you use, and don’t eat food that the other person purchased. Be mindful of the time that you spend in the bathroom and share the home’s common family areas.
Come up with a Parenting Plan
When you’re preparing for divorce, you’ll need to organize a parenting schedule. Decide which days each of you will have full responsibility of the kids. If you have an infant or a toddler, then you will need to decide who will take care of feedings, oversee baths and get up at night with the child. Be sure to share school drop offs and pick ups as well as the responsibility of transporting children to and from after school activities. A parenting schedule will help your children adjust to the separation, and it may make it easier for them to shift households once you and your ex no longer live together.
Have Separate Rooms
It can be easy to fall into old habits, but do not sleep together. The intimacy is likely to be confusing, and if one of you would like to reconcile the relationship, then your eventual permanent separation will be even more devastating.
Don’t Bring Home a Date
To make your living situation function more smoothly, do not bring a date home while you are living under the same roof with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. Once you are divorced, it’s fine to date, but be considerate of your ex’s feelings.
When you carry out basic living considerations and exercise patience, you and your ex can continue living together while getting a divorce until your finances and emotions permit you to move on to the next phase of your life.